Pain in my Ass

This week I have had a sore body every day!  We started the week with a crazy long WOD on Monday at the highschool track.  Tuck jumps, squats, and long jumps all the way around with the long jumps being the only way to move forward.  It took me an hour, which was 15 minutes behind the person in first place.  Boy, was I feeling the pain of that within the next two days. On Tuesday we ambushed our arms with a WOD of kettle bell swings and push ups.  Doesn't sound too bad?  Well, when you do reps of 21-18-15-12-9-6-3-6-9-12-15-18-21 it is a killer!  After those two days alone my body was done!  That being said, I took the day off on Wednesday and went back Thursday for another killer WOD.  The thing is, in CrossFit, everything is crazy!  And I mean that in the best possible way.  Yesterday I ran a mile for the time of 10:53.  Not fast by any standards other than my own.  I'm proud of that time and I only hope to get better next time!  Gotta love sore butts, backs, and everything else! 

Sometimes I Feel Silly When I Start Over

I guess it's been a while since my last post.  I didn't give up on my journey, but things have changed for the better since then.  I began a CrossFit class on June 6th.  If you don't know what CrossFit is I suggest you look it up.  Or maybe I'll post a video and make it easy on you.  Easy, however, is something that my new workout regimen is not.  I have lost some inches, which I will post soon to compare.  This is the first time in a long time that I am able to see results!  My weight is still not moving as I would like, but I have to remember that I am building musscle! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzD9BkXGJ1M


On to the next WOD...

My Leg Sucks!

So I know I said I wasn't going to be negative, but I just have to say that my leg sucks!  I have been dealing with a leg injury for about a month now.   I was working out hard core with Turbo Fire in January and I began to feel some pain shooting from my ankle to about halfway to my knee.  The pain is between the shin and calf so I know I didn't pull my calf muscle and I definitely don't have shin splints.  I have also been feeling some pain in my Achilles tendon.  Again, that pretty much sucks!  What else is there to say about it?  The pain comes and goes, but is a dull ache on good days even.  I've changed my workouts so most are lower intensity, however, I added a run/walk routine so I'm sure that's not helping.  I don't really want to go to the doctor because I don't think there is anything they can do for me.  I'll take it easy for a while and see if that helps. 

I do have some positive news to share though!  I joined the ranks of iPhone users and one of the first apps I downloaded was my fitness pal.  It's amazing!  I can easily track my food and calories for the day!  I think it will really help me to loose weight!  I hope I loose over a pound by the time Saturday rolls around!

0.6

Today I lost another 0.6!  Again, I'm hoping to start losing a little more each week, but slow and steady wins the race!  This is just a short snip-it for now.  More when I have time!

Going Down

I decided to weigh myself yesterday and record my weight on Saturdays from now on.  It puts less pressure on me over the weekend when people are more relaxed about food.  I lost 0.6 lbs.  since my last weigh-in.  (To be fair in was probably more, but then again I was probably up a pound too.)  I'm excited with that loss because it is a symbol of moving forward on this journey.  I have felt myself at a standstill with my weight over the last few weeks, hence the avoidance of a weigh-in.

Planning my meals for the week went well.  I still have to be extra careful when I get home from work.  That is a major trigger time for me!  I have to make sure I'm at least shoving my face with something healthy!  I will be planning my meals again for this upcoming week and I hope to have more self control.

On another note, I have not been reading Push as much as I need to.  It will take me about 60 days to finish rather than 30!  Oh well, I don't really need another thing to stress me out anyway!  I will just go at my own pace and improve myself as much as I can!

My exercise routines have had to change a bit recently due to my leg injury.  I have taken a step back from Turbo Fire and moved on to The Firm and 30 Day Shred.  I love both of those programs and I feel like the use of weights while working out will really help me!  I am still a huge fan on Turbo Fire though and I still plan on rotating those videos into my routine!

To Do...

One of this week's assignments from Push is to create a to do list for things from my goal list.  I'm going to sit down and get to that very shortly...that is if the baby stays asleep! :)  I am quite scatterbrained so creating a habit of making a to do list every day should really help me focus on what is important and what I should tackle first!  From glancing at my next assignment it seems that I need to get the hard stuff over with and stop my procrastination.  I have done an amazing job at putting some of my goals into motion, which makes me really proud of myself!  As I've said before, many of my goals have to do with organization and planning.  My push goal is to create a weekly food menu.  Check!  I made my menu throughout the day yesterday and it has helped me to not pick up random sacks throughout the day today!  I even added up all of my calories and I can tell that this is really going to help me with my weight loss!  I also came up with a weekly cleaning schedule so that there is just on small thing to get done each day and the house has looked great all week!  I'm checking off my goals one by one.  It will be difficult to keep them up but I'm staying positive and I know that I can do it! 

Weigh-in....I have not recorded my weight for this week or last due to the fact that I have not been very good with losing anything.  I haven't been able to work out as hard because of a leg injury that needs to heal.  My planned meals all week should really help with that problem though!  I will absolutely record my weight next week!

PUSH

I began "Push" on February 1st.  It's Chalene Johnson's 30 day life changing plan.  Day 1 began with a lesson about priorities.  I had to make a list of priorities in my life and then focus on my top 3 priorities. From that list of 3 I had to come up with sort of a mission statement for my number 1 priority.  The idea is that by creating and knowing what your number 1 priority in life is, you can make decisions that will positively affect that priority.  My number 1 priority is my family.  I also detailed ways to honor my priority and noted things that would go against that priority. (Wow, I think I just said "priority" 9 million times!)

Day2:  The assignment for Day 2 was to write out 10 goals.  Only one of the 10 had to relate to health, but other than that, these goals can be whatever you want to work on.  There is one more stipulation though.  Chalene wants the goals to be something "crazy cool" that can be accomplished in 12 months.  I didn't exactly feel like my goals that I wrote are "crazy cool" but they are things in my life that I really want to work on.  Most of my goals actually have to do with organization.  I'm a bit messy! :)

Day 3 was a day to determine a Push goal!  The goal that will make all of the other goals possible!  I had an especially hard time with this.  I wanted my push goal to be "be more positive," but there isn't a clear way to measure that goal.  So oddly enough, my push goal is to create a weekly menu for food!  I know that sounds trivial, but it will be really hard for me to create and follow.  It is also my goal that will help other goals, such as saving money, losing weight, and having more time with my family!  What a great push goal! 

You may be wondering how listing priorities and goals for all areas of your life will help you become healthy.  The answer is that by organizing your life and realizing what is really important will help you realize that health is important for all of those other things that you list.  If you aren't healthy, it will bite you in the ass!

Lazy days

This past week has been one of the most difficult weeks for working out since I began my journey in November.  I opted to sleep in on both Monday and Friday, thereofore, I missed those 2 workouts.  I ate horribly on Friday and Saturday followed with the same lack of willpower.  I also missed working out at all this weekend.  These 3 days off in a row have really showed me the differnce between eating well and working out and being lazy and and eating junk.  I feel tired, and basically like crap.  But even though I messed up this week, I'm not down on myself about it.  I am starting fresh tomorrow with Fire 55 and healthy eating all day long.  I'm a little behind on my 30 day push because I need to make sure my goals are right where they should be.  I can't wait to feel good tomorrow!

One, Two, Three, GO!

Tomorrow I get to start the 30 day push from Chalene Johnson's book, Push. I'm so excited to start this book because it doesn't seem to be just another diet book. It's about looking deep into yourself and making new habits in your life. I think that is just what I need! So often I throw in the towel and go on a eating binge all the while thinking of how fat I am. I've already started to change my thinking - from negative to positive - and there will be many more changes to come.

I want to get another "diet" book while I'm about all these changes. It's call Intuitive Eating and it seems to be about learning how to eat and be okay with food. I'm trying not to beat myself up for enjoying somehting, within reason anyway. Too much restrictions can lead to teh binges that I'm so familiar with.

For now, I will focus on Push!

How do I look?

Well last night I tried to think positively about myself when going out with friends.  Going out creates such feelings of anxiety and stress for me and the way I think I look.  I am always so self conscious about the way I look and I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me by my weight.  (I know everyone is really not looking at me!) I always look around wherever we are to see if there is someone who is fatter than me!  I know it's crazy, but it's what I do.  Most often, I feel like I am the biggest person in the room or I do find the biggest person in the room and in my head, that's what I look like.  Sounds weird to write down, but I don't know how else to explain it. Last night I tried to be more positive about my looks or really just not think about them.  I guess I do look better than I did before I began working out so much.  Or maybe a more positive attitude would be - I do look better! Baby steps, right?

On to the weigh-in...This week I stayed the same from last week.  I'm ok with that because of my diet.  I ate a lot this past week and I'm talking bad food!  I am hoping to stay positive throughout the week and have a good loss next Sunday!

Goodbye, Negative Nancy

I had an especailly stressful week this past week and I noticed 2 things.  First, I eat when I am stressed, much like I do when I am happy, sad, cheerful, angry and any other feeling one can have.  Secondly, I am a much more negative person then I like to think I am.  I always say to others how positive and happy I am, but this past week I payed attention to my thoughts and comments about my weight and man, am I ever a Negative Nancy!  I use humor and sarcasim to hide my true feelings about my weight.  I make fun of myself and tell myself that I'm just going to mess up or go back to eating whatever and be fat forever. This is what I tell myself everyday!!!!!  Well, when you hear the same things everyday, then you become exactly what you think!  While reading Push, by Chalene Johnson, I really realized this negativity that I dwell on day in and day out affects who I am.  How have I gone on thinking that I am a positive person??   I am about to take my 30 day Push journey so I hope to blog more and work through the task that is set for each day.  In the meantime, I'm going to start working on becoming more positive.  So no matter what my weight is tomorrow I will find positive things in my weight loss journey. 

Tight Pants

Is there anything worse then putting on a pair of pants that's too tight?  It can throw my whole day off!  Sometimes I feel like all of my pants are too tight and I'm doomed to walk around with a muffin top all day!

 The good news is that my pants have gotten a little less tight this week.  I weighed in today at 197.6, which is exactly 2 pounds less than last week.  There were some bad eating days in there too!  I have been trying not to let one bad meal or one bad day throw me off the wagon completely as it has in the past.  Oddly enough, success has also thrown me off the wagon.  If I start to feel like I'm doing really well on my weight loss than I will eat to reward myself! Hello!  I am not a dog!  I recently saw a poster on Pinterest that says:

"You are not a dog.  Do not reward yourself with food."  

Last night I went out to dinner for a friends birthday and I was able to control my eating pretty well.  We were at a Mexican restaurant so of course there was always a bowl of chips in front of me.  Now, I can't ignore them completely, but I didn't eat 8lbs of chips like I would have in the past.  I also ordered tacos and left plenty of my plate!  Drinking a ton of water before the meal helped me feel full before I stuffed myself.  

I just got Chalene Johnson's new book called Push in the mail yesterday.  Ready for motivation! 

Weekly Weigh-in

This morning I stepped on the scale, as I have basically done all throughout the week, and the number 199.6 popped up.  (That is a loss of 4.6 pounds from last week and 2.8 total since I gained last week.)   I love seeing my number begin with a 1, but I've seen that many times in the last 2 months and have quickly climbed right back across the line to the 200's.  I'm hoping that my determination can keep me in ONEderland from here on out! (I did not come up with the ONEderland name...someone on biggerst loser said it once, but I totally can't think of who right now!)

I have been fighting against food all weekend, and unfortunately food has won the battle.  On Friday I stopped by McDonald's for one of their new mini meals.  Still too many calories and not good food for my body. Although, it was pretty good for my taste buds.  Then, I proceeded to eat out at Bully's that night!  They have such yummy BBQ, which isn't the most unhealthy of foods I can think of.  Saturday was slightly better, but my choices still were not perfect.  Today was an all out binge day!  We had a get together in honor of my friend Brandon's return from oversees so of course I saw it as an opportunity to eat as much as possible.  I better not weigh myself until next Sunday because I might get discouraged.

Tomorrow I may be going to lunch with some friends so I will have to tell myself over and over to make a healthy decision with my food.  It is possible!  Crap!  Thinking of tomorrow also reminded me that we are having a luncheon at work on Tuesday!  Why is everything centered around food?  How can I make good choices everyday when faced with junk so many days in a row!

On a final note, my workouts have been wonderful.  I ordered Chalene's new book Push and hope to find some inspiration!

I Ate 2 Cakeballs Yesterday

It is SO hard to eat healthy!  I gave in to 2 very scrumptious cakeballs yesterday.  I think they were actually calling my name or something.  I practically swallowed the first one whole, and tried to savor the second one a little more.  I'm not gonna lie, if I was left in the room alone with those damn things I might have grabbed 1...or 2 more!  Isn't that kind of pathetic?

Today has also been a hard day for eating well.  I was tempted to get fast food on my way home (and of course destroy the evidence before anyone noticed) but I fought the urge and ending up eating a tuna fish sandwich.  It feels pretty good to win a battle like that!

You know the saying, "take it one day at a time?" Well, sometimes it seems like I'm fighting to make it through every meal and every snack.  When I'm finished eating one thing, I'm already thinking about what's next!  Will that ever end?

Ugh!

Yes, my title for this post says it all really.  I knew that my weigh-in today wasn't going to be very good, but did I really have to gain?  Of course I did!  Here are some things that you should not do if you are trying to lose weight.

1.  Do not drink soda. Period.
2.  Do not eat almost an entire bag of nuts mixed with chocolate and candied bananas on the way home from a store.  This particular item was 210 calories for 1/3 cup.  I obviously did not look at that before I ate it!
3.  Do not eat 1/4 pound of fudge in one sitting.
4.  Do not make a giant plate of nachos for dinner.
5.  Do not eat 5 slices of pizza in one sitting.

If you read that list and you are thinking, "Duh," then you are a winner. Or perhaps you are a loser...of weight that is!  I on the other hand did all of those things within the last few days.  As I was eating each of those items I was thinking how bad it was for me and how I would probably not lose weight, but at the time it didn't matter.  That's always been my problem.  As I'm shoving fries or something else into my mouth by the handful I'm often thinking of how fat I am or that I need to lose weight.  I just can't figure out what is wrong with me as far as that is concerned.  I need to have a full-o-meter installed into my brain.

Another thing that really bothers me about my eating habits is that I eat so fast that I don't even get to enjoy or savor the food.  It's all about the amount that I can eat until I feel full and it takes a lot to get there.  For example, tonight I was eating chocolate covered strawberries.  I think most normal people can have one or two and feel satisfied.  I on the other hand was waiting for other people to walk out of the room so I could eat another one as fast as I could.  Sick!  If I had stopped to savor and enjoy I might have been able to stop.

On the positive note, I worked out everyday except for Friday.  Love Turbo Fire!

Goal for this week: Savor the food!  Eat slowly!

Weekly weigh-in:  204.0 pounds.  That is a 1.6 lb gain from last week.  Depressing.

This is how it goes...

I don't think my weigh in tomorrow will be very good good.  Such a shame since I've managed to wake up early on this first week back to work.  I get about 2 days in to eating well and then it all goes to hell.  I pick at this and that and do whatever I want!  Not good.  I've even had 2 sodas this week!  There were a couple of times that I felt like I didn't make the worst choice possible, but I'm still nervous to see what I weigh tomorrow.  Getting ready to workout today!  At least I have that going for me right now!

Write it down!

Today was my first day in a long time for writing down everything I ate!  I decided to count calories and see how I do with that.  Its hard for me to imagine counting anything every single day for the rest of my life in order to stay in shape.  That was always one of my issues when I was a member of Weight Watchers.  I loved the program and was always very successful, but I just had a hard time counting Points everyday, especially with the thought of doing it for the rest of my life!  I'm hoping that if I train myself to just make good food choices then I will be able to just eat healthy food without counting something.  Anyway, because of my weight I calculated that my calorie intake could be anyway from 2,000 to 2,300 per day.  This was according to a short worksheet that came with my Turbo Fire program.  Today I had 1,725 calories, which is lower than expected, but not too low. I'm sure the extra motivation of the new year and my dentist appointment had something to do with that total!  I also worked out with Fire30 and Stretch10.  Both amazing workouts!!!!

Tomorrow I go back to work, which means I go back to waking up at 4:30 to workout.  I dread the thought of waking up so early.  I was in a perfect routine for that, but all this time off has gotten me off track.  I still worked out, just not so early.  Oh well!  I heard somewhere that if you can do something for 17 days straight then it becomes a habit.  Well, here I go!

Workin' on my fitness!

As I explained in an early post, I have been working out 4-6 days a week since about the middle of November. Most of the workouts are done at 4:30 a.m.  First of all, I cannot believe that I would ever ever ever wake up that early to work out!  EVER!  I have tried setting my alarm early soooo many times and I would always hit snooze.  For some reason I decided that when my alarm went off I wouldn't even think about sleeping more and it has worked.  Believe me, if I can do it then so can anyone else!!!  As a mother of a 1 year old, I know how precious sleep can be!  I have been off work for almost 2 weeks now so it will be like starting my early morning habit all over again when I go back on Tuesday!  UGH!  At least I am using the BEST workout program to make waking up a little easier.

Turbo Jam
I first ordered Turbo Jam, which is an older (within the last 10 years) workout program by Chalene Johnson.  You can check it out at www.teambeachbody.com or Amazon.  I ordered a used Turbo Jam from Amazon so I wouldn't be spending a lot of money in case I failed to use it.  Anyways, Turbo Jam is a mix of kickboxing and dance.  Chalene is awesome and coming up with inspiring moves that work your whole body!  The music is fantastic and it really is a fun workout!  Why else would I wake up so early?  I followed the program for a month before I ordered her latest and most difficult program, Turbo Fire.  I would recommend for most people to start with Turbo Jam.  The moves and workouts are easier and it's a great way to start a fitness program.

Turbo Fire
My new addiction comes in the form of 12 workout classes on 10 DVD's.  Each workout that I have done so far has kicked my butt!!!!  They are fun and I know I'm getting the best workout.  Plus Chalene just keeps bringing the motivation!  Like Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire incorporates kickboxing with dance moves into a high intensity cardio workout. In fact, if you have lower body injuries, this workout is probably not for you.  The schedule calls for workouts 6 days a week!  I'll be starting this program from the beginning tomorrow.  I have only had this one for about 3 weeks so I like to start fresh with the new year.  

Working out + eating well = looking good

Monthly Measurements, Weekly Weight

My goal is to hold myself accountable by reporting my stats for the world to see.  I will post monthly measurements on the first of every month, and my weight every Sunday.  Sunday is a hard weigh in day for me since I'm used to eating nonstop through the weekend! Maybe it will stop me from eating whatever I see though.

Here are my starting measurements: (Prepare yourself, they are large numbers!)

Neck: 12.5 in.

Bust:   44 in.

Waist: 37 in.

Hips:   48 in.

Thigh:  27 in.

Shin:    15 in.

Biceps: 13 in.

Not sure what else I should have measured, but that was enough for one night!

Weekly weight: 202.4 lbs.

Scary to see that number on the screen for everyone to see.  It's easier since I don't have a picture up, but eventually I will post that too.  I need to build a little more courage for that!  See you next week for the weigh in and next month for the measurements! 

New Years Day

Dear January 1,


I have see you so many times in my life...close to 30 if you must know.  Every time you come around I think of new beginnings and what I wish to change.  Every year since I was a teenager, or perhaps even younger, I have resolved to lose weight.  Sometimes I have actually been able to do it!  So here's to you and your inspiration to us all on our journey of life.  May we start fresh and finish strong.  Come next year, where will I be along this journey?  


Sincerely, 
Me


I will post my weight and measurement stats later!  Excited to post and finally be honest about what I weigh and the changes I'll be making!