PUSH

I began "Push" on February 1st.  It's Chalene Johnson's 30 day life changing plan.  Day 1 began with a lesson about priorities.  I had to make a list of priorities in my life and then focus on my top 3 priorities. From that list of 3 I had to come up with sort of a mission statement for my number 1 priority.  The idea is that by creating and knowing what your number 1 priority in life is, you can make decisions that will positively affect that priority.  My number 1 priority is my family.  I also detailed ways to honor my priority and noted things that would go against that priority. (Wow, I think I just said "priority" 9 million times!)

Day2:  The assignment for Day 2 was to write out 10 goals.  Only one of the 10 had to relate to health, but other than that, these goals can be whatever you want to work on.  There is one more stipulation though.  Chalene wants the goals to be something "crazy cool" that can be accomplished in 12 months.  I didn't exactly feel like my goals that I wrote are "crazy cool" but they are things in my life that I really want to work on.  Most of my goals actually have to do with organization.  I'm a bit messy! :)

Day 3 was a day to determine a Push goal!  The goal that will make all of the other goals possible!  I had an especially hard time with this.  I wanted my push goal to be "be more positive," but there isn't a clear way to measure that goal.  So oddly enough, my push goal is to create a weekly menu for food!  I know that sounds trivial, but it will be really hard for me to create and follow.  It is also my goal that will help other goals, such as saving money, losing weight, and having more time with my family!  What a great push goal! 

You may be wondering how listing priorities and goals for all areas of your life will help you become healthy.  The answer is that by organizing your life and realizing what is really important will help you realize that health is important for all of those other things that you list.  If you aren't healthy, it will bite you in the ass!

Lazy days

This past week has been one of the most difficult weeks for working out since I began my journey in November.  I opted to sleep in on both Monday and Friday, thereofore, I missed those 2 workouts.  I ate horribly on Friday and Saturday followed with the same lack of willpower.  I also missed working out at all this weekend.  These 3 days off in a row have really showed me the differnce between eating well and working out and being lazy and and eating junk.  I feel tired, and basically like crap.  But even though I messed up this week, I'm not down on myself about it.  I am starting fresh tomorrow with Fire 55 and healthy eating all day long.  I'm a little behind on my 30 day push because I need to make sure my goals are right where they should be.  I can't wait to feel good tomorrow!

One, Two, Three, GO!

Tomorrow I get to start the 30 day push from Chalene Johnson's book, Push. I'm so excited to start this book because it doesn't seem to be just another diet book. It's about looking deep into yourself and making new habits in your life. I think that is just what I need! So often I throw in the towel and go on a eating binge all the while thinking of how fat I am. I've already started to change my thinking - from negative to positive - and there will be many more changes to come.

I want to get another "diet" book while I'm about all these changes. It's call Intuitive Eating and it seems to be about learning how to eat and be okay with food. I'm trying not to beat myself up for enjoying somehting, within reason anyway. Too much restrictions can lead to teh binges that I'm so familiar with.

For now, I will focus on Push!

How do I look?

Well last night I tried to think positively about myself when going out with friends.  Going out creates such feelings of anxiety and stress for me and the way I think I look.  I am always so self conscious about the way I look and I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me by my weight.  (I know everyone is really not looking at me!) I always look around wherever we are to see if there is someone who is fatter than me!  I know it's crazy, but it's what I do.  Most often, I feel like I am the biggest person in the room or I do find the biggest person in the room and in my head, that's what I look like.  Sounds weird to write down, but I don't know how else to explain it. Last night I tried to be more positive about my looks or really just not think about them.  I guess I do look better than I did before I began working out so much.  Or maybe a more positive attitude would be - I do look better! Baby steps, right?

On to the weigh-in...This week I stayed the same from last week.  I'm ok with that because of my diet.  I ate a lot this past week and I'm talking bad food!  I am hoping to stay positive throughout the week and have a good loss next Sunday!

Goodbye, Negative Nancy

I had an especailly stressful week this past week and I noticed 2 things.  First, I eat when I am stressed, much like I do when I am happy, sad, cheerful, angry and any other feeling one can have.  Secondly, I am a much more negative person then I like to think I am.  I always say to others how positive and happy I am, but this past week I payed attention to my thoughts and comments about my weight and man, am I ever a Negative Nancy!  I use humor and sarcasim to hide my true feelings about my weight.  I make fun of myself and tell myself that I'm just going to mess up or go back to eating whatever and be fat forever. This is what I tell myself everyday!!!!!  Well, when you hear the same things everyday, then you become exactly what you think!  While reading Push, by Chalene Johnson, I really realized this negativity that I dwell on day in and day out affects who I am.  How have I gone on thinking that I am a positive person??   I am about to take my 30 day Push journey so I hope to blog more and work through the task that is set for each day.  In the meantime, I'm going to start working on becoming more positive.  So no matter what my weight is tomorrow I will find positive things in my weight loss journey. 

Tight Pants

Is there anything worse then putting on a pair of pants that's too tight?  It can throw my whole day off!  Sometimes I feel like all of my pants are too tight and I'm doomed to walk around with a muffin top all day!

 The good news is that my pants have gotten a little less tight this week.  I weighed in today at 197.6, which is exactly 2 pounds less than last week.  There were some bad eating days in there too!  I have been trying not to let one bad meal or one bad day throw me off the wagon completely as it has in the past.  Oddly enough, success has also thrown me off the wagon.  If I start to feel like I'm doing really well on my weight loss than I will eat to reward myself! Hello!  I am not a dog!  I recently saw a poster on Pinterest that says:

"You are not a dog.  Do not reward yourself with food."  

Last night I went out to dinner for a friends birthday and I was able to control my eating pretty well.  We were at a Mexican restaurant so of course there was always a bowl of chips in front of me.  Now, I can't ignore them completely, but I didn't eat 8lbs of chips like I would have in the past.  I also ordered tacos and left plenty of my plate!  Drinking a ton of water before the meal helped me feel full before I stuffed myself.  

I just got Chalene Johnson's new book called Push in the mail yesterday.  Ready for motivation! 

Weekly Weigh-in

This morning I stepped on the scale, as I have basically done all throughout the week, and the number 199.6 popped up.  (That is a loss of 4.6 pounds from last week and 2.8 total since I gained last week.)   I love seeing my number begin with a 1, but I've seen that many times in the last 2 months and have quickly climbed right back across the line to the 200's.  I'm hoping that my determination can keep me in ONEderland from here on out! (I did not come up with the ONEderland name...someone on biggerst loser said it once, but I totally can't think of who right now!)

I have been fighting against food all weekend, and unfortunately food has won the battle.  On Friday I stopped by McDonald's for one of their new mini meals.  Still too many calories and not good food for my body. Although, it was pretty good for my taste buds.  Then, I proceeded to eat out at Bully's that night!  They have such yummy BBQ, which isn't the most unhealthy of foods I can think of.  Saturday was slightly better, but my choices still were not perfect.  Today was an all out binge day!  We had a get together in honor of my friend Brandon's return from oversees so of course I saw it as an opportunity to eat as much as possible.  I better not weigh myself until next Sunday because I might get discouraged.

Tomorrow I may be going to lunch with some friends so I will have to tell myself over and over to make a healthy decision with my food.  It is possible!  Crap!  Thinking of tomorrow also reminded me that we are having a luncheon at work on Tuesday!  Why is everything centered around food?  How can I make good choices everyday when faced with junk so many days in a row!

On a final note, my workouts have been wonderful.  I ordered Chalene's new book Push and hope to find some inspiration!