This time it's for real! Right?

Here I am.  A new day.  Again.  Well the end of the day really.  I always feel this way at the end of the day.  I review my food choices and my physical activity and often make a promise that the next morning will be a brand new start for a new life for myself.  Yes, I am yet another obese person in this county.  I can't tell you my actual weight right now because it's night and it just isn't fair to get on the scale after a days worth of eating and drinking.  So perhaps tomorrow I will weigh myself and try not to cry when I see the number.  Although it won't be too much of a surprise considering that I am a new mom.  Unfortunately I am just about back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but really that is not something to brag about.  Let's just say it's somewhere in the neighborhood of 200.

Now please forgive me for rambling on, but when you have been overweight your entire life there is really no good place to begin.  I could start with how as a child I ate fast food more than anything.  One time I even ate two of the largest cheeseburgers, a large order of fries, and chased it all down with a gallon of soda.  I was still looking for more food after that!  I think I was 12 during that particular battle with food.  I have rarely been satisfied with a typical value meal from any of the burger joints and my plate is usually clean when I go to a restaurant.  Or to save face I will of course pack away half of my entrée only to shove it in my mouth the minute I get home.  Wow, I'm grossed out just reminiscing about all of my eating habits!  Somehow I never think rationally when I'm faced with food though.

Enough of my background for now.  Nobody wants to hear about how someone is fat, always has been, and has tried everything.  It's all to familiar these days.  I just hope that this day, and the next, and maybe even a few more after that will be different for me.  I need to hang on to the motivation I feel right now and bring it with me when I reach for the next fat filled food that won't fill me up.

My hope is that this blog will help me stay on course.  I have nothing to hide on here so I might as well be honest with myself this time.